“Who is more confident, more content, more able to deal with adversity? … It’s those who have been brought up by parents who rewarded independent thought and behavior. It’s those who don’t concern themselves with other people’s money, someone else’s estate. Also, if one lives below one’s means, one doesn’t have to be concerned with the possibility of being forced to reduce one’s standard of living. … People often attempt to shelter their children from the economic realities of life. But such shelters often produce adults who are in constant fear of tomorrow.”
It’s easy to imagine why this quote would hit home for someone with 5 children, but that doesn’t make it any less prolific. I’ve been reading The Millionaire Next Door and while all of the information has been interesting and educational, the above quote smacked me across the cheek and shouted “wake up!”
My wife and I both work full time. We don’t have all day every day to work with our children. This has resulted in them showing some independence, but it’s not always the kind of independence that you want them to display. Let me elaborate. Sometimes the kids show independence through their actions, their abilities to be self sufficient and control their own day. Sometimes though, they show independence as an attitude, without the actions needed to sustain a healthy existence. Instead of getting out of bed, eating a decent breakfast, showering, getting into a hobby, getting some exercise, or doing something creative, they stay in bed, hide in their room, shout about not wanting to do basic things, get aggressive in response to suggestions, and sometimes slip into depression. Granted, the teenagers are more likely to exhibit the attitude than the younger ones, but it’s not mutually exclusive.
Covid 19 has definitely thrown a wrench into everyone’s behavior and schedule for the past 5 months. It’s made it both easier and harder to keep track of the kids. For one thing, I’m home and they’re home all the time. But for another they keep to their own space while I’m working from my office space, and unless there’s a meal or we’re seeking each other out, I may see them less than when they had a regular school schedule.
I recently listened to Episode 87 of the Choose FI podcast, Education Through Innovation, you can check it out here. This episode also hit me pretty hard due to the content and what it could mean for my kids. Similar to the above passage from The Millionaire Next Door, the guest, Don Wettrick, discusses his innovative class and ideas around instilling and inspiring creativity and an entrepreneur mindset in our children. It’s quite eye opening to hear what he’s been able to accomplish with the kids in his classes. It makes me wonder what mine are capable of, and want to work with them to find out. Between the two media, I have a new drive to stoke the creative fires in my children, and be supportive, but watch them grow, and fail, and eventually succeed at becoming self sufficient human beings, possibly even forming an income from something they love along the way.
One thing is for sure, I don’t want to raise kids in constant fear of their economic situation. The Millionaire Next Door outlines some causes for those fears, and ways to overcome them. If I’m going to provide my kids a foundation and stability on which their future success grows, I’m going to have to be a facilitator and mental supporter, but not a crutch, or a long term monetary provider. It’s time to find what lights them on fire, and stoke those passions into white hot flame. They’re kids, those fires may burn out, sometimes quickly, but that’s really just an opening for a new opportunity to take their place.
I’m interested to hear how you support and encourage creativity, entrepreneurship, and independence in your children. Let’s have a conversation in the comments!